Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Retromendation #3

It's Wednesday, but it only seems likes yesterday it was the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark. As you sat on your pops lap you wanted to be everything Indiana Jones was on that silver screen. Invincible, heroic and daring in your adventures. You mastered the whip, aged your leather jacket and you wore that fedora like a pro. It was tragic that upon buying a pet snake to familiarize yourself with the species [and become even more fearless than Dr. Jones] it devoured your entire family as you traveled overseas in the family Cessna "The Venomous." sending it crashing down into an anaconda mating pit of all things.

So when your friends ask you if you want to see Snakes on a Plane, you say you'll pass.

But what do you do during that weekend lull when the Internet community heads out to see the traumatic mixture of Snakes and Planes? You hit the video store, and with the weekly Retromendation, you'll be sure to head out with a winner.

The Fearless Vampire Killers

Vampire researcher Professor Abronsius and his assistant Alfred take shelter after a night of traveling in the icy wilderness. It’s here where Abronsius begins to suspect strange goings ons and Alfred falls for the beautiful Sarah, daughter of the innkeeper. When the villainous Count Krolock snatches her away, the duo must travel to Krolock’s castle and match wits with the count as well as his children of the night before Sarah’s fate is sealed.

Worthwhile Because: Eye Candy. This is a very beautiful film that captures the Hammer horror vibe. From the atmospheric sets to the costumes, everything screams archetypical vampire fable, something Steven Sommers wishes he could capture.

But also because: It’s got an ultra kitschy score, and even more eye candy in the form of Sharon Tate in a bathtub.

Memorable quote: “Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire.”

This is one of the earlier films of Roman Polanski’s career; here he even stars as the meek and frightened Alfred. Luckily Polanski delivers a memorable vampire tale that plays around with the classic hammer horror formula and has fun with it. The daughter Sarah can’t seem to get enough of her bathing while vampires of the Jewish variety descend on the helpless females ever present.

In the second half of the film the fearless vampire killers turn out to be anything but. As they fumble, run and yelp at the sight of the living dead, you realize that our heroes are no match for the forces of evil. A fact I’m sure any follower of Polanski is already well aware of.

There's your selection for this week, check back next Wednesday for another Retromendation to ease the boring weekend stretch. Until then, good luck with the serpant therapy. Don't let it get in your way of a decent game of snakes and ladders.


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